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Wilkommen Sie in die "Bitchy World"! Just babbling about things in my life in general, nothing more or less :P

Monday, September 15, 2008

My Best Friend's Wedding...

Well....it's not like a Julia Robert sort of best friend's wedding or anything. She's actually more like a very very close friend/roommate back in college. I doubt if I should really call her 'best' friend...because if she really is, she wouldn't be getting married yet, would she? hahaha!

Morning ceremony at 7am, still looking grumpy :P

ok..before I start going on and on about why my buddies and I think it's so hard to find the right guys, or whether there are such things as soulmates, or, even if they exist, are they even born yet, etc...let me just stick to the topic here.

I've been to some Thai weddings before but they were all from either friends or acquaintances of my parents. This time, it's actually the first ever wedding that I got invited, with my name on the envelope, and I actually attended. (I did get invitations before from my colleagues and such, don't get me wrong that I don't have a social life or anything, hehe, not that I care though, it's just that I couldn't go)

Nui and Pue looking pretty cheerful :)

Speaking of invitation, that's just another thing about Thai wedding. I don't know how it is with weddings in other countries or religions since I've never been to one either. But the thing that bugs me is...why bother inviting someone you hardly ever know of, just because that they are in the same organization with you, or they are like..working at the same company you dad does, or that they would feel bad if you left them out while inviting some colleagues?

I just wouldn't go if I don't know either the bride or the groom and their families that much. It's not that I'm too stingy to spare some hundreds or a few thousand Bahts in the envelope to give them at the wedding. Which brings me to another point; it seems to me like it's all about 'face' and investment. You throw this huge ass wedding reception when you only know half of the guests (supposed that the other half is the groom's? but in reality you probably know only half of your half because they end up being friends or drinking mates of your dad or mom.) Then the guests show up with money in the envelope..and you hope that it'd cover your wedding expenses.

As for the guests, you put some money in the envelope, just because you have to. And since your name is on the envelope, shit, they are gonna know how much you put in. So if you put too little they'd figure you are stingy or poor, but if you put too much..and the food sucks (which is very likely)...and you have to sit at the same table with ppl you don't know, or don't wanna be with? Goshh..what a dilemma!

So yeah, that's why I don't go to weddings so much, unless it's someone I'm pretty close to. Someone I can really tell them how happy I am for them, someone that I can really congratulate them. Not someone that I wait until they come to the table to take photo with me and give out wedding souvenir with a brief thank you for coming.

What's wrong with a private wedding surrounding by your close and loved ones? I know each person has his/her own preference. I'd probably end up getting married (if it will ever happen) in Vegas..or worst case scenario, just showed up at the district office to sign the damn certificate?
But honestly, if I'm ever gonna have a wedding reception at all, I'd just invite my close friends and close relatives..the the whole bunch of family tree..and definitely not my dad's drinking mates (ok..maybe some daddy issue a bit there..but seriously..why would I want them at my wedding, right? it's supposed to be MY day, right?)

And it's such huge ordeal..for a bride and groom for this typical Thai wedding. Especially now it's so integrated between Thai, western, Chinese traditions...the Thai wedding has become..worse than ever!

I'm gonna skip the shit you have to go through before the wedding day like...photos at the studios, reservation, how many ppl to invite and all that crap and fast forward to the big day.

The bride gets up at 3am for make-up and get ready for this morning traditional wedding part. Usually held at the bride's home. The guests are more limited to closed ones..so yeah mom's colleagues from the other department wouldn't show up yet. But since it's Thai tradition..you have all these elderly in both of your family trees to pay respect to. So yeah, you won't get to eat anything...because it's your big day..you have to look absolute best (not gonna happen with me..I guess) You basically on your knees doing this paying respect thing, getting blessings from the elders...blah blah. Oh and before all that, the groom has to start the parade thing from miles away...with his crowd..coming to the bride's house and pay his way to get in. By paying I mean..giving money. They'd set up couples of girls, sometimes more..in front of the door..if the groom doesn't pay..he is not allowed to go in. (so yeah, the groom would be screwed if he left the wallet at home...the idea is quite familiar somehow...if you look at it in a cynical way, it's kinda like paying a pimp to get a girl, isn't it?)

Part of the Thai traditional morning ceremony...

Then after the guests are gone...you have sometime in the afternoon to get ready for the wedding reception in the evening. Change to another wedding dress...this one is gonna be western style since the one in the morning is Thai style. Then when the reception starts, you have to stand in front to greet everybody...with a smile on your face. While ppl are eating at the table..you have to go up the stage, saying how you met each other, how you fell in love, when did you fall in love. Sometimes, in a modern way, you throw in some presentation..so you won't have to deal with stage fright.

Then after that...you go to each and every single table, with a big smile on your face, thank them for being there..take photos that you'll soon put in a huge album and one day looking back you wonder, who the fuck is this?

So at the end of the wedding day, I guess both the bride and groom are probably too exhausted to make love that night, hahah. But I suppose that's no biggie...you are in the marriage now anyway, you can have sex with each other as much as you like until you are sick of it!

Am I weird to think that the wedding day is supposed to be YOUR day?? Things should be the way you (and the other half, of course) want it to be without any hassle or energy and emotionally drainage?

I'm not saying all this because I have anything against my friend's wedding though. I'm happy if she's happy. I had quite a good time to be with my good friends, though, I also had a boring time to try making conversation with other acquaintances (hmm, I'm not very socializing, am I? But I'm sincere though!!)

My best buddies, Yarh, Kate, and Pue...who's gonna be next??!

I guess at the end of the days, all that matters is that you have each other in the marriage, for better or worse..not the wedding, big or small...not the crowd that came to pay you to have dinner at your wedding reception.

But, hey, what do I know? I'm not the one with a ring on my finger!


At 2:48 AM, Blogger lookingfine27 said...

My name is Tom from Texas. I just got married June 2008 in Texas on my ranch to this wonderful Thai woman. Sukanya & I were married with just a few friends & family. I did not receive any money, as the Thai parents grand parents do! lol. So when we come to Thailand in 2009 to have a Thai wedding I will let you know how it turns out!
Have a nice day!

Tom in Texas

At 7:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

~Sawatdee krup Gwang~

As always, your pics are very beautiful! It was interesting to read your thoughts about weddings. (Even though you are an "old maid" heh-heh:)

Although I don't know too much about Thai wedding customs, I do agree with you that weddings should be private and personal. I never go to those weddings where everyone at work is invited, especially if I'm not close to the person getting married. If it were my wedding, I'd freak out if there were a big crowd of people I didn't know too well. I'd feel like I was just on display for their entertainment!

I don't know about Vegas weddings though! I wouldn't want to get married by a justice of the peace who was also an Elvis impersonator! I think there should be some kind of religious aspect to a wedding, whether it was the presence of a Buddhist monk or Catholic priest or whatever. I think weddings should have some kind of spiritual basis.

Anyhow, thanks for discussing your thoughts on weddings, and for the cool pics. I especially like that first pic at the top - usually you smile your nice Thai smile, but in that one you're the Mona Lisa - hmmm... what is she thinking?

I'm glad your friend had a nice wedding and I hope she's happy in her new married life!

Best wishes!

At 7:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

~Sawatdee krup Gwang~

Hi! I hope you write another blog entry soon so your readers know for sure that you and your friends weren't in that horrible nightclub fire in Bangkok on New Year's!

Anyhow, Happy Makha Bucha Day!


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